ic inbox (kenos)

[gravings]

I will definitely put something here this time

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[gravings]

[ It's a miracle Guinevere survived Britain's messy ending. Gray wonders if she was grateful or guilty for it.

Such somber musings are no match for the bizarre sight of Mordred roleplaying a cat on the floor, which Gray would not have put on her Mordred-themed bingo card. She has to wonder if there's something strange going on in Kenos again, like one of those brief convulsions of Mystery where people start sprouting animal parts. ]

Sometimes they follow me home when I feed them. I didn't intend for so many to stay, but they do behave themselves.

[ As if sensing they're being talked about, yet another cat pokes its calico head around a corner to observe the weirdo human stretched out like a cat. ]

The gray one is Fluffy, the ginger one is Norangie, and the calico is Pepper.

[uproared]

[ As if she needs an excuse to be weird. Sitting back on her haunches, she waves her hands in the air, grinning when Norangie starts to bat at them. ]

Heh. You say you didn't intend on it, but you've got a whole family of 'em.

[ ... Which makes her feel some kind of way. She tries not to frown, but it's obvious she's thinking about something less than pleasant, and even her hands grow still. ]

... Y'know, that's one thing I've never asked you about. My old lady was the worst of the freakin' worst, but your parents must have been real asshats too. Maybe... [ She trails off, her expression inscrutable, before she resumes playing with the cat; albeit much less enthusiastically than before. ] Nah, nevermind. Forget I said anything.

[gravings]

[ If Mordred will be seeing her memories, she'll probably see Gray's parents in them sooner or later. Gray shakes her head. ]

It's okay. My parents... they were warm and loving when I was a child. After my body changed, they became devout about worshipping me.

[ She doesn't need to explain why. She watches as Pepper hops onto the back of the couch next to her so that she (Pepper) can watch Mordred and Norangie's boxing match. ]

My father died soon afterward, so I don't have many memories of him. My mother... she became controlling. She put me on a strict schedule and picked what I would eat and wear at all times. It was like she'd become a different person, and I began to dread her.

[ Yet a part of Gray still loved her mother, even though she knew it was foolish. And because leaving the description of her mother there would be a disservice, she continues, ]

I learned later that she was trying to save me in her own way. By controlling and imitating me, she was able to adopt my "frequency" enough to trick the mind of King Arthur into entering her body instead of mine. And then she tried to kill herself with the mind of King Arthur trapped inside of her.

[erbe]

...I suppose that answers my question well enough.

[Tohsaka returns to getting her second helping. After that is situated she returns to the table.]

Are you really comfortable living in an all guy-universe?

[As in... why doesn't she live with other women?]

a memory—

[kenosnpcs]

[ Very suddenly, there’s a sense of Communion touching your character’s mind. However, it’s as if they connect with the mind of a shared Aspect, as they’re not able to block out the brief, but sharp memory that comes to them. ]

Alone in their room, a Shard-Bearer quietly whispered to a faded photograph of their best friend, left behind in another world. They may be a Zenite, but they still foster a tiny hope that maybe, just maybe Meridian was right after all.

[ ooc note — Just to avoid OOC confusion/misinterpretation, the details included in this memory are random and are not necessarily interconnected or plot meaningful beyond a surface level. However, your character is free to interpret this random memory however they’d like! This event will also be touched on somewhat during today’s NPC Communion Post. ]

[uproared]

[ Mordred crinkles her nose a bit at the idea of anyone's parents being warm and loving, but doesn't interrupt. Boxing match officially on pause, she glances intermittently at Gray's face; wanting to give her privacy, but also wanting context clues for her words. In the end, there's only a long pause, and an equally long sigh. ]

This might sound rich comin' from me of all people, but you know your life is effin' nuts, right? [ Just in case that fact somehow escaped her. ]

I can't tell if I should admire the audacity of a stunt like that, or be pissed that she used a part of my father to do it. [ No: on second thought, she's definitely pissed. She's just not sure why, which is infuriating in its own way. ] I guess... in the end, she made sure you stayed 'you', no matter the cost. She was willing to sacrifice everything else for that one thing.

... Is that... [ She chews on her lip, struggling to get the words out. There's nothing she hates more than feeling vulnerable, being forced to question a long held belief about the way the world is, and what it means for her. ] Is that what a mother is supposed to be like?

I figured all of 'em were the same to some degree. Perhaps loving on the surface, but they'd always put themselves first if push came to shove. But it doesn't make sense for her to go so far, if that were the case. [ She doesn't understand. She can't understand. ]

[gravings]

[ Spending time in a male space (Waver's) after a lifetime of female fastidiousness (her mother's) was certainly jarring to Gray at first, but she finds Rin's disbelief a bit curious. ]

An "all guy universe"? Should that be an issue?

[ Maybe if the guys in question were her age, Gray would understand more quickly. Though she never had to deal with other people her age in her village, she was certainly taught about the follies of the opposite sex through things like books and television. But Eustace and Dokja are, well. Complete non-threats. ]

[erbe]

Why wouldn't it be? They're both older than you, too. What if you accidentally walk in on something?

[Maybe things like not shutting the bathroom door all the way, or getting a little too flirty with your significant other where others can perceive it is only a straight guy thing?]

[gravings]

[ Mordred will have found Gray's expression to be even, if a bit wistful, during her description of her parents. Even if there was love at its foundation, Gray's relationship with her mother was both complicated and distant; to an extent, Gray isn't sure she can say she really knew who her mother was, so complete was her facade. But Mordred is right that Gray's mother was fully prepared to sacrifice herself for Gray, only falling short at the very last minute — though not for lack of trying.

Sensing that the topic is one that Mordred is genuinely grappling with, it's Gray's turn to glance over. Mordred's mother was of course the infamous witch Morgan, who was apparently responsible for the "purpose" of Gray's village. She's a figure still shrouded in mystery from Gray's perspective, but it wouldn't surprise her if Morgan was an inattentive mother.

Regarding Mordred's last point, ]

I thought that too. That the strength of familial love might actually be really weak. When I used to read stories about families that would do anything for each other, I thought they were closer to fantasy.

[ Because it wasn't just her family, but her entire village that gleefully discarded her individuality in a second. They had been warm and loving as well, until they weren't. How could Gray have faith in love after that? ]

I'm not really sure what my mother was thinking either. If things hadn't played out in the peculiar way they did, she would have sacrificed herself, and I still would have been doomed to stay in that village. My life wouldn't have been any better.

[ If anything, she would've been better off dead; it would never have occurred to her to try to leave, and she's sure she would have eventually gone insane in that place. If Gray's mentor hadn't come along to take her away, her mother's decade of effort would have been for nothing.

Her head tips slowly as she tries to put a point to what she's trying to say. ]

I don't know if I can say she was a normal mother. Maybe she was just an especially kind, determined, and optimistic person.

[gravings]

[ When Rin puts it that way... ]

It hasn't been a problem yet, but... wouldn't that have been a bigger problem with you and Dark?

[ Dark and his literal harem and sexual obsessions?? ]

[uproared]

[ "Inattentive" would have been a blessing compared to the reality. There's a reason Mordred and Agravain turned out the way they did in comparison to their siblings — a more active hand shaped a more awful product. For a second, she wonders how she'd feel if Morgan's manipulation of her turned out to be for some self-sacrificing cause, then has to stop herself from abruptly laughing. No; Morgan le Fay never had a thought for anyone but herself in her entire wretched life. ]

Maybe. [ She agrees, because this is so far out of her area of expertise that she can't even hazard a guess. Worn out from the effort of thinking, she flops down onto her stomach and stretches out; wiggling her fingertips in the air. ] But she's the only one who could answer those questions. You made it sound like she's still alive, so... ever thought about what you'd wanna say to her?

[ She knows that if Zenith win, Gray won't ever have the chance. Even so, she chooses to ignore one what-if in favour of another. ]

[erbe]

Yeah, but from him it wouldn't be a surprise. It's why if I'm not in one of my rooms I'm usually out of the house.

[Haha but there is no house at the moment so it's not like that matters. In fact she's not even sure if she'll go back.]

action ; early november ; highstorm, near bloody marie's

[epiprocta]

[ Hunting Gen down is probably, like, an extremely unfun and thankless task.

Yes, he has a stable home (now) but it's in Yima's manor, probably making it a little awkward for Gray if she wants to show up for a visit. Yes, he also has another home(-ish) but that's in Kowloon (Silco's turf), and hard to find, and does Gray even know about it? Otherwise, what are her options? Maybe she just had to ask around Highstorm's various establishments if anyone's seen this particularly lanky, dour-looking young man with a robot arm who dresses almost exclusively in all black, or maybe she has more clever methods at her disposal, but either way --

she'll eventually find herself before Bloody Marie's. A classy enough looking establishment.

Maybe too classy, in fact? Even from the outside it looks like a fairly upscale sort of place, with just a few well-dressed clients drifting in and out of the quiet bar. Unfortunately the frosted windows won't give her a very good view of what's going on inside, even if she decides to take a peek, and while she's perhaps still deliberating whether or not Gen is really in a place like this ... ]

Hello, little miss. [ It's a suave, beautiful young man dressed head-to-toe in black, gothic finery who calls out to her; evidently, he'd been just about to step inside before spotting her, since he steps away from the half-open doorway to look her over. As he draws close, Gray might notice the peek of fangs when he speaks. ] Your first time here?

[ He smiles, but there's something a little ... hungry about it. ]

No need to be shy.

[gravings]

[ She's thought about that a lot in fact, but she still doesn't have a concrete answer. Thanks to the totality of the mask her mother wore, Gray feels almost as though she didn't know her mother well — except as someone who loved her daughter, and tried to fight for her in her own desperate way. ]

I think I'd apologize. I'm certain she could see I was afraid of her. It must have hurt her, no matter how sure she was that she was doing the right thing.

[ Despite living with Gray and the other villagers, she must have been lonely in her secrecy as much as Gray was lonely in her isolation. Gray would have liked to take her away to London to show her the good things in the world, the same as Gray's mentor once did for her.

She looks over at Mordred to see her flopped on the ground. Gray hasn't interacted with many children, but Mordred's fidgetiness makes her think of one. ]

How about your mother? If she showed up here someday, would you want to talk to her?

[gravings]

So it's the surprise that makes a difference?

[ It's a bit of a funny distinction that makes her smile. An occasional mishap is more problematic than perpetual debauchery? ]

I admire you for being able to handle him. I get a bit overwhelmed after a few minutes.

[gravings]

[ Gray has been looking to do a little research on vampires for unrelated reasons, so imagine her surprise when she learns about an establishment caters specifically to them. Any why would Gen be there? A little bird (literal) told her it had seen someone of his description headed there, and animals have no reason to lie about such things. A bit of dread settles in Gray's throat at the thought that Gen may have been converted. Even if vampires in reality turn out to be more reasonable than their more fictional counterparts, that's a lot of added complication potentially added to Gen's life...

Gray is lost in thought enough that she doesn't notice the suave, beautiful young man in gothic finery until he's practically jump-scaring her. She startles, her hand shooting to release Add within her cloak until she realizes that the man is just being polite(?). She feels like an impostor here for a number of reasons, which adds to her usual shyness, but in reality she fits right into the aesthetic of this establishment. Between her cloak and palette of of blacks, grays, and whites, her facial scar, her quirky blonde streak, and now the searing red tattoo on the back of her hand, she looks as goth/ic as she ever has.

She gathers her wits and stares up at the very vampiric-looking man in front of her. She's finding that vampires are a physically flawless people as a whole, and when people are this beautiful, it's really very distracting. Still, she's gotta fake it til she makes it. Pretend you're feeling normal, Gray. ]

Ah, yes. Though I have a friend that should be inside...

[ Even if she is wondering more and more with each passing second whether or not Gen is really in there. ]

[uproared]

[ Mordred stills instantly at the question, not having anticipated it. In retrospect, she obviously should have, but she'd been so focused on Gray's answer about her mother, vicariously imagining a fantasy in which her own would care so much, that she allowed herself to be caught off guard. ]

... I don't have anything to say to that witch. If she shows up, it'll be Clarent doing the talking.

[ Though Gray might notice that her expression doesn't quite reflect the surety of her claim — it's angry, yes, but her pensiveness betrays something deeper; an emotion not so easily put into words. One thing is for certain: the bad vibes are strong. ]

Besides, what's there to ask? "Why did you hate the king so much?" I already know that. "Why did you curse me with this form?" I know that, too. [ And yet it's clear she's thinking about it. That she's been thinking about it for a long time. ] There's nothing she can say that would satisfy me. Hell, I don't even know if her death would. [ She seems surprised at admitting this. Norangie headbutts her with a tiny mew of concern, but she's too distracted to acknowledge it, and one of her hands curls into a fist. ] Even so, I'd cut her down without a second thought. I know her tricks, so it'd be easy.

[ No it wouldn't. It'd be nothing short of a suicide mission, utterly doomed to failure, but she'd still do it. ]

[epiprocta]

[ Gray says she has a friend inside and -- the gentleman gives a blink. Though his expression doesn't change very much, Gray might get the sense that he's just a touch disappointed? Something about the tighter purse of his lips and the slightest furrow of his brow before he smooths out his expression once more. ]

A friend, is it. [ His shoes clack off the pavement as he finishes closing the distance between them, bending down a little so he's closer to her eye level -- so he can peer through the window. Too bad being a vampire doesn't give him any special ability to see through frosted glass. ] Oh, I see. It might be a little difficult to spot your friend from out here, hmm?

[ But also, this position gives him an excuse to get a better look at Gray. She's definitely human. A bit small, so lacking in volume, but practically brimming with youthful vitality. A veritable jackpot for vampires.

Hence the brief moment of hesitation before he forces himself to straighten up, gesturing her towards the door. It sure is hard being a civilized vampire when someone so tasty is just wandering over so defenselessly. ]

Come, then. Let me show you around as we look for your friend. [ A perfect gentleman (other than staring a bit too hard at what he can see of her neck), he even holds the door open for Gray as he beckons her in. ] I take it your friend is one of our kind, then?

[ Gray's assessment of vampires as all being eyecandy sure is going to take a big hit if Gen's ended up being converted, huh. ]

[gravings]

[ That's a lot to chew on. The common consensus in legend was that Morgan and Mordred plotted together to ruin Arthur, but it seems like Mordred hated Morgan as well. Gray has yet to hear Mordred speak positively of anyone from her time...

Gray at least knows what she'd ask Morgan: "Why did you go so far to try to revive the king?" The answer would be obvious for anyone other than Morgan; most would understand that the return of a legendary king would be glorious to his people. But most people aren't Morgan, who devised the fall of that very same king. Morgan's answer would ultimately make no difference to Gray, who fundamentally needs to reject Arthur's existence to preserve her own, but perhaps it would give meaning to the generations of villagers who preceded her.

Gray is slightly skeptical about Mordred being able to cut Morgan down with ease, not matter how strong Mordred is, but she notes the enthusiasm. ]

If the time ever comes, you should let me help you. Masters and Servants... are supposed to be stronger when they fight together, right?

[ In theory?? As Gray isn't a mage, she isn't sure if her only purpose would be to serve as a battery. ]

[gravings]

[ Luckily we've been given evidence that Gen is one of the prettiest boys on the block, so the reputation of vampires will be able to rest easy if he one day joins their ranks.

Gray endures the man's not-so-subtle inspection with the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, but she manages not to step away. The edge of her Shard gleams a deep green at the base of her neck, obscured by cloak and collar, tantalizingly out of reach...

Mistaking the man's fascination with her neck for one with her Shard, she turns to face him, putting her Shard firmly behind her. But thankfully the man does straighten back up, and she breathes a quiet sigh of relief.

She's feeling a healthy amount of hesitation about following a vampire into a den of many more vampires, but her unhealthy weakness to peer pressure wins out in the end. She carefully steps through the door, conscious of the man at her back as she looks around quickly for any sign of Gen. The establishment is busy with activity and bodies, yet it isn't as warm as she would expect it to be. She realizes belatedly that it might be because vampires don't generate heat the same way humans do — or so the stories go.

Failing to immediately spot Gen, Gray looks over her shoulder at the vampire who escorted her in. In part to mind her manners when she speaks to him, in part to mind the attention of the man himself. ]

No, he's human.

[ She thinks that should be safe to say?? Especially if she's been let in. ]

Do very many... non-vampires come here?

[epiprocta]

[ Rest easy, Gray! The man has zero real interest in your shard, and is instead staring intensely at what he can see of your blood pulsing through your carotid artery just under your skin!

And the focus of his gaze only ups a notch when he hears that this friend of hers isn't a vampire. So -- nobody's placed dibs on her blood for the evening? She's so small that she probably doesn't have that much to spare, and one would presume a single feeding would tap her out for the evening. How nice, then, that she might be unclaimed.

The thought has his voice coming just a little more crooning and syrupy as he begins leading Gray deeper into the establishment. ]

A fair number of non-vampires do visit, yes. [ They walk past a few servers in fancy garb carrying expensive-looking drinks, follows by a booth where a couple are flirting with each other, speaking softly to suit the ambiance of the store. ] Most in the company of a vampire acquaintance, admittedly. Thralls, or those simply smitten by one and wishing to court them in suitable fashion. Although ...

[ The next booth they pass by is empty, but in the one after that -- a (of course, beautiful) young man cradles a woman in his lap, fangs sunk into her throat. Gray's guide doesn't even pause, continuing the easy tour. ]

Some visit seeking the company of any vampire willing to humor them for the evening. Apparently, the sensation of being bitten can be quite enjoyable. Especially if done by one with a practiced touch. [ He smiles as he looks to Gray. Fangs visible. ] Would you perhaps be curious?

[uproared]

[ It's a valid question, and one that a part of Mordred, against her better judgment, would be interested in hearing answered. The (main) problem is that she doesn't trust Morgan to give either of them a straight answer; and, perhaps more pressingly, doesn't trust herself to not get enraged at said answer, no matter what it is. Morgan's rare truths have a habit of hurting more than the ignorance they replace. ]

You don't know the kind of shit she's capable of, mouse. People's bodies, their souls, they're all nothing to her. Just playthings compared to her obsession. [ When Mordred calls someone obsessed, you know it's bad. ] If usin' you could get her even half a step closer, she won't hesitate.

[ There's nothing more she can do to destroy Mordred's life. There's a lot more she can still do to destroy Gray's. ]

I know you have just as much right to confront her as I do. But I won't... I mean, you can't give her the chance to finish what your village started. You're different from me, in a good way.

[ A big admittance, for someone as surface level arrogant as Mordred. She'll call Gray many things: weak, pathetic, annoying, troublesome; but in the end, she's the one who needs to live on. Someone who builds, instead of just destroying. Someone with people who want her. Someone who deserves to be wanted. ]

[erbe]

It's all about mindset. If he doesn't want to act like a human then don't treat him like one. He's more akin to an untrained and unfixed dog, more often than not. So you have to distribute punishment and reward accordingly.

[Though... It wasn't that way before he died. There was something different about him when he racked up so much Discord. As if something his typical brash and bombastic attitude was desperately trying to hide came through.

A shame, really. His more subdued nature was preferable.]

[gravings]

[ There's a lot going on in here. Gray isn't sure where she's allowed to look, so her eyes end up darting from fixation to fixation, all of these blatant displays of highly intimate vampirism shredding her nerves to ribbons. If the gentleman guiding her was having any difficulty observing her carotid blood, he certainly won't have any trouble seeing all the blood that's now flooding her ears and cheeks.

It's only by some miracle that she manages to listen to what he's actually saying. She looks up at him as she tries to refocus, onyl to startle visibly when he smiles sharply at her. She scoots to widen the gap between them, if only by a few inches. ]

I... actually, I've already been bitten in the past. It was, um, interesting.

[ It wasn't at all like THIS, and it was by a dhampir rather than a full vampire, but she's hoping that will be enough to convince the man that she is, in fact, good.

More importantly, could this mean that Gen has a vampire beau? Gray is wondering if coming here was a bad idea after all — though she probably should have wondered that from the moment the door opened. She isn't sure what she'll do if she comes upon Gen getting erotically bloodbagged around a corner. ]

[gravings]

[ While she'd like to ask Morgan a few things, existential questions wouldn't be as important to Gray as ensuring Mordred's victory. It might be overly sentimental of Gray to put more value in the life of a spirit over the real answers Morgan could potentially provide — but in a more logical sense, Morgan's answers might not mean anything, and Mordred would be Gray's best bet at survival in the long term.

With a thumb she rubs absently at the command seals burned into the back of her hand, turning thoughts over in her head. There's a number of things she'd like to say, but she's never been in the habit of letting her thoughts stampede straight to her mouth. ]

You said before that you wanted a bold Master who would do anything to win. How can I do that if you won't let me fight with you when it matters?