gravings | ic inbox (kenos)

[ A fasion statement... To someone with very little sense of fashion, that's a little troubling. But if he doesn't think it looks completely weird, then she'll find a bit of comfort in his assessment. ]

Yes, I think I know. The person my body was changed to match... her spirit was summoned in my world, and it made my body change to match hers even more. She was actually blonde, so my hair ended up changing a little too...

[ Before he can ask any more (valid) questions, she shakes her head. ]

More importantly, um. It probably doesn't feel this way to you, but from my perspective, it's been almost two months since I've seen you. So... it's good to see you again.

[ Common words with uncommon weight to them. As normal as she's trying to seem, her eyes shine with feeling as she etches his mannerisms into her memory. ]

[ The more dangerous the venture, the more keenly she feels the absence of her usual weapon-slash-partner-in-crime, Add. She'll be feeling it even more given his ability to eat magic... but she won't let her lack turn into cowardice. Surely there's still plenty she can do. ]

I understand. Can you tell me a bit more about what kinds of traps and magic he used?

In honesty, I do not understand the magic that was involved in his traps. But I have asked Akua, who is a powerful sorceress, to accompany me as well. I will ask her to brief you.

There were puzzles and hidden doors and sigils that triggered things... But that was in a base he had constructed. Hopefully there is no such compound in Alenroux.

[ Imagine thinking that nothing would top having to awkwardly navigate a birthday celebration, only to get hit with crying right afterward. Dokja balks once he realizes what's happening, his posture stiffening as he stands there in tense silence because what else is he supposed to do? Not only is he piss poor at comforting others in the first place, but he imagines that any sort of comfort that comes from a practical stranger would be more uncomfortable than anything else.

And despite living together in this house, they are strangers to each other. The one single tie they had is no longer present, and in this moment, Dokja wishes more than ever that Eustace was here to be the person that Gray needs right now.

But he's not here, as painful a reminder as that is, so Dokja makes do. He's not sure why Gray's crying, but if her comment is anything to go by... ]

Sorry, [ he says hastily as he starts for the kitchen drawers. ] Maybe we have more candles somewhere? Ah, I thought... [ Actually. ] I wasn't really thinking about it?

[ It just seemed like a better idea than guessing wrong and ending up with a one or two candle difference, but maybe teenagers are more sensitive than he'd thought!! He hasn't been a teenager in a while so he wouldn't know. Oh God, the candle wax is starting to melt on the cake.]

I can get more candles if we don't have them.

[ She really should have asked someone else for a more accurate and useful opinion but alas, he is the only ghost on the premises. A spectre still unaware of his own status, though her words set off the tiniest alarm bells in the back of his mind, his mild frown deepening into something more grim. ]

Two months?

[ There's no gap that long that he can find in his memory as he frantically digs through what experiences he can remember from the last week, but why would there be if he's the one who's been missing? Not for the first time he silently curses all the outside forces that have left him unable to trust his own memory, but not for the first time he sets that problem aside. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and he's sure it won't be the last. All he can do is keep moving forward and focus on the present.

Though he's forced to take a tiny trip into the (recent) past when he remembers something far more important, his shoulders straightening and brows furrowing reflexively. ]

Did your birthday already pass then?

[ If it's already been two months....

if you think you can escape without me shoehorning in a happy birthday you are sorely mistaken ]

[ Oh no... The power of politeness compels her to step over and hover her hands at his in an attempt to get him to stop, her more complicated feelings put on the backburner. ]

N-No. It's okay, you don't have to go that far.

[ She looks up at him with apology in her eyes. ]

I was just taken by surprise. I forgot it was my birthday. So, um... thank you.

[ She's trying to convey genuine gratitude, but again given her gloomy expression, something may be lost in translation.

And still the candles burn... ]

... It's been a long time since anyone gave me a birthday cake, so honestly I'm a little overwhelmed.

[ Well, he's effectively stopped in his tracks, the surprise flitting across his expression hard to miss as he looks down at her with the same concern from earlier. So it's like that, is it... ]

I guess we're more alike than I thought.

[ Considering that he, too, had forgotten his birthday a few months ago and was only made aware of it when his own companions, no longer present now, had thrown him a small celebration. It's embarrassing to think back on, especially because Dokja had practically bawled over it, but he thinks he can understand a little bit of what Gray's feeling in this moment.

He forces a smile on his face as he returns to the cake, sliding it across the table so it can sit closer to Gray. The candles are very quickly becoming nothing but globs of wax at this point. ]

I'll spare you my singing, and besides your gift, there are no more surprises after this, I promise.

[ They can keep it simple... Quiet. ]

[ She watches his reaction with a bittersweet feeling. She'd wished back then that he could appear out of thin air, but now that he's in front of her, there's a heavy cap on how happy she's allowed to feel. ]

... Yes. Mr. Dokja gave me your gift.

[ She pushes the drape of her cloak aside to reveal the handle of a knife protruding behind the small of her back, one that may be familiar to him. With Add still absent, she's felt a little lonely and a lot unarmed given how much power and personality Add packed in such a tiny space. Eustace's knife doesn't come anywhere near Add's unique versatility, but it still manages to be a candle's warmth at her back and a fighting chance. ]

He prepared a cake for me too. He's been very sweet... even though I think he feels a bit awkward. He might be even more awkward than I am.

[ A rarity and a talent. ]

[ —Ah. It shouldn't be surprising with how much time he's apparently missed, but he can't fully suppress the surge of disappointment that lances through his heart, both over missing such an important day and his own failure at being present for the people most important to him. Gray seems to be holding up fine though, even if he can't fully make out her face behind the shadow of her hood.

But before he can apologize, he's pulled out of his self-wallowing by her comment, his gaze flying up from the ground in surprise. Surprise and a small burst of incredulous humor, that escapes past his lips in a quiet laugh. ]

You're not that awkward. [ A little hesitant sometimes and certainly careful in her choice of speech, but far from awkward. ] Though I can see how he could be.

[ Even if he personally finds Dokja more annoying (fond) than awkward.

And then the moment of good cheer fades along with his smile and another exhale blows past his lips, though this time a sigh instead of a laugh. ]

But I'm sorry. For not being there.

[ Not as though he had a choice in the matter, because he never would have left if given the option, but he feels miserable about it nonetheless, head once again bowing down heavy in apology. ]

[ It doesn't surprise her much that Dokja would forget his own birthday too; he doesn't seem like the type for the limelight.

But right, the candles. She doesn't put much stock in superstition, but in this moment she can't say no to the prospect of a free wish, however slim it is. She folds her hands in prayer — a habit she still practices before meals, even though she hasn't believed in God for a long time. She closes her eyes, brow knit in concentration.

It won't be a secret that she's wishing with all her heart that Eustace will miraculously show up on their doorstep in the near future, or at the very least that he's safe wherever he is. Even as the candles become precipitously short, she takes her time to pour her hope into this single wish.

Finally when she feels she's infused a proper amount of birthday power into the cake, she carefully blows the candles out. She's learned that symbolism can contain real magical power, so she can't take the process too lightly. With all that done, she looks to the gift waiting nearby. ]

Shoud I open that now?

[ Silence falls over both of them, with Dokja patiently waiting for Gray to make her wish. And while it isn't his own birthday, maybe he quietly wishes for the same thing in the somber lull of a celebration that feels anything but. Eustace should have been here too, Dokja thinks miserably, his gaze trained on the flicker of candlelight before he's snapped out of it by Gray's question.

He jerks his head up, then in the direction of the gift bag still sitting by the table, grabbing it to pass it over to Gray. It's heavier than it might appear, with tissue paper hastily shoved inside to mostly obscure its contents.

The gift itself, a knife (because that's a normal gift for a teenage girl), isn't wrapped, but she'll find a folded up letter on top of it, also written by Eustace and will require asking Val what it says. ]

I'll cut the cake in the meantime.

[ Both for an excuse for something to do, and to give Gray some space should she want to read the letter now. Don't mind him as he takes a short trip into the kitchen to grab something to cut the cake with, because it would be kind of fucked up to cut it with Eustace's present. ]

[ The sound of his laughter, brief though it is, gets a smile out of her — even if it's wobbly, and pinched around the eyes. The longer she speaks with him, is reminded of his familiar mannerisms, the more she misses him. She suffocates the spark of hope in her heart that he might solidify, and that this is simply some strange magic at work that will run its course and return him to normal at the end of it. That hope unanswered would be too cruel.

As she focuses on containing her emotions to her chest, she's surprised to see him bowing his head in sincere apology. And the feelings in her chest boil over, hot tears dropping from her eyes like lead. She shakes her head furiously.

Stuck in her throat are the words, No, it isn't your fault.

In her heart are the words, I would have given anything for you to be there.

She takes a deep breath to shore up her constricted throat and looks up at Eustace through a blur of vision. She already knows her voice will be a shaky mess, but she has no choice but to power through. ]

Mr. Eustace, you've already done everything for me. I never thought, not even once, that you ever had anything to apologize to me about.

[ And in return, has she done enough? Has she only ever been an obligation, someone small to look after, to add to a list of concerns? He never needed her the way her mentor in London did. It boggles her to this day that Eustace decided to concern himself so much with her. ]

I wanted to thank you. For this gift. And for being my friend... since the very beginning.

[ She gingerly takes the gift bag, a bit numb yet still nervous about what she might find inside. But first she opens the letter carefully, trying to preserve it as if damaging it would tarnish Eustace's intent. Directly from the fingers of Val it says:

Gray —

Happy birthday. You've been through a lot, most of it undeserved, but I'm grateful nonetheless you were brought into this world. It isn't much, but I hope this gift helps while Add is still missing.

If you ever need anything, all you need to do is call and I'll be there.

Eustace

She spends another minute looking at the letter and trying not to sniffle before she puts it away and moves on to the present itself. And what she finds is, not very cutely, a wholeass knife. It has a serious-looking curve to it, the blade pitch black in a way that makes her think it came from the earth, not any artificial treatment. It isn't the sort of knife she would have picked out for herself, but Eustace was much more of an expert than she is. So as always, she'll put her trust in him.

She observes it closely and gets the odd sensation that there's something more to it. She takes it in hand, makes it comfortable in her grip, and reaches for that vein of magical energy sticking out of it like wick...

... and then she disappears. She gasps and clutches the knife closer in surprise, and then holds it away again when she feets its unfamiliar length scraping at her clothes. But when she looks at the knife, when she looks down at herself, she sees nothing there at all. For all intents and purposes, she's invisible. ]

Um... Mr. Dokja?

[ Can he see her or is this an Emperor's New Clothes situation... (it isn't) ]

[ Damn, Eustace lying to the both of them. So much for being there.

Dokja isn't paying attention at all while he rummages inside of a drawer, so when he hears his name being called, he hums a distracted response before looking up.

... Uh. ]

Gray?

[ Forget the cake-cutting knife. Dokja takes a couple of steps back into the dining area, then pauses as he glances around with his expression scrunched up in confusion. Hadn't she just been here a second ago? ]

[ A dream. Is that really all? Just a dream?

Even though he knows that their homeworlds are gone (the have to be gone), a part of him still can't help wondering sometimes, given all of the fantastical nonsense this place makes them endure. And even if it really was just a dream ... what must it feel like, for Gray to dream of her home for what felt like a month, only to end back up here? (Does she miss the people she left behind? Would she rather not have woken up?)

And it's mostly thanks to those thoughts that Gen's movements are surprisingly gentle when he reaches forth to snag his fingertips against the hem of Gray's hood, lifting it up just a fraction so he can get a better look at her face. At the spot she gestures at. ]

... just your hair.

[ That's not that big of a deal, right? At least, that's what he tries to convey through his quiet, deadpan tone of voice. Even if a part of him knows it can't be that simple, not with what he knows of Gray's worries about her face, and how rattled she seems.

Well. First things first. ]

C'mon. [ He sighs as he pulls his hand away from her hood. ] Let's get you out of here first. You can keep thinking this stuff over once you've had a shower or something. ... can you walk?

[ If he listens very closely, he may hear light footsteps as Gray approaches him, holding the knife way out of the way so that there are no accidental stabbings in this household today. She reaches her free hand out to carefully pat at him, mostly to show him where she is. ]

... I think Mr. Eustace gave me a magic knife.

[ It takes a second for him to register the footsteps, and by the time Gray taps at him, he mostly figures it out. It still doesn't stop him from slightly jumping in surprise, one hand coming up to rest against his racing heart.

He's too old for jumpscares, but he looks in what he hopes is Gray's direction. ]

Geez, the least he could do is mention it would be magic. [ Typical Eustace, keeping too much to himself. ] Invisibility, huh? That's going to have its uses.

[ It's no secret that Gray has always had a kind heart. It's one of the (many) qualities he appreciates about her, her willingness to give others a chance even when they might deserve one. Even so, he's taken aback when she starts crying, completely at a loss as to the cause behind those tears. It's not as though he hasn't made women cry before, but he usually makes an effort to be more considerate around Gray. Surely a two month absence wouldn't be enough reason either....would it?

One hand reaches out—and then pulls back, dropping down once again to his side. He's never been good with displays of affection, and even moreso when he's not sure how to address the root of the matter. Instead he crouches down, to look up at her instead of down. (Closer to hell where he belongs for bringing her to tears, and for the way he feels, guilty and upset over Gray's upset.) ]

I should apologize for making you cry.

[ Apologies aren't in his normal repetoire but he'll shake off the dust, just for Gray. ]

I'll always be your friend. You don't have to thank me for it. I should be the one thanking you for sticking with me. [ There's the smallest of smiles that plays on his face, bittersweet. ] I know I'm not the easiest person to be around.

[ To put things lightly. ]

[ There's a rustling of fabric as Gray nods. ]

Yes, I think he— ah.

[ She cuts off as Raisin comes over and politely runs her over with his hugeness. In his doggy confusion, he rapidly sticks his nose all over her in a fury of sniffs. Able to smell and hear her but unable to see her, it seems he's making it a mission to suss out her deal. ]

[Tohsaka doesn't want to speak to Gray about this. She doesn't want Gray to start babbling about how payment isn't needed. That conversation has no use existing. So she leaves a gift basket at the door. It's large, and well made. Something that could have many uses. Inside the basket are expertly sealed yields from Rin's garden. Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. Beyond that are balms for wounds, salves for muscle pain, a bath potion for relaxation that smells of fresh fir and cedarwood, and lotion to soothe overworked skin.

A note included, written on cat patterned stationary, reads:]

You will accept this. It is a token of gratitude and an apology for having to deal with him. The fruits will need to be removed from their seal so they don't bruise each other as most of them are at ideal ripeness. Aside from the bath potion the rest of the items are unscented as I am not familiar with your sensitivities. If you would like them scented reach out to me.

Enjoy them. - Tohsaka Rin

[ It's kind of funny seeing Raisin searching for someone who is so obviously there, but also not. Dokja can't help the laugh that escapes him as he grabs hold of Raisin's collar to try and pull him away. ]

Down, boy.

[ Poor Raisin is a mass of drool and confused whines, and Dokja's gaze once again wanders in search of Gray's general direction. ]

Are you able to turn it off?

[ She doesn't move as he shifts her hood. By now he's more than earned enough of her trust and comfort that the usual alarm bells surrounding her hood are temporarily disabled.

"Just" her hair, he says. She can see why he'd think so, but it's all the difference to her. Her mind races, her gaze shifting. But she snaps back to the present when Gen asks a question he clearly expects an answer to. ]

Yes. I think so...

[ She pushes herself up to her feet, only a little unsteady before she finds her footing. She dusts the dirt off herself absently and tries to remember something she was supposed to talk to Gen about before her body decided to bury itself in the dirt.

It comes to her all at once. She turns to face Gen, worry and a little hope threading her brow. ]

Gen, have you heard from Mr. Eustace lately?

[ Maybe while she was indisposed, something might have changed. If he dissipated again, maybe his Shard was found — maybe he's even already reformed under the Tree of Life. ]

[ This is so much... and the letter is certainly forceful enough that any thoughts of protesting that this gift is unnecessary flee from Gray's mind. After a bit of pondering about how to respond in a way that Rin will find acceptable, she beams a simple message at Rin's brain. ]

Um, thank you.

[ That is all... ]

[ That is a good question. She didn't want to just drop the knife and maybe lose track of it, but if she hits that mental switch again...

She pops back into the visible spectrum. She's sitting on the floor with the knife awkwardly held up in her hand and a splatter of dog drool on her. ]

... Yes, it looks like it.

[ She gets up and continues to hold the knife awkwardly because there's no sheath to go along with it and she's trying really hard not to accidentally stab anyone. ]

Um, did you need any help cutting the cake?

[ Because she has the perfect tool now... ]

[ Oh! There she is, and Raisin boofs once in surprise, pulling himself free from Dokja's grasp to return to sniffing at Gray. His poor doggy brain isn't able to comprehend this.

Meanwhile, Dokja tilts his head to one side as he considers the knife in Gray's hand. ]

You want to cut it using Eustace's gift?

[ It's not going to turn the cake invisible, is it... ]

ic inbox (kenos)

as is your right as a free rper

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kills dw for not giving me this notif

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A Gift Left at the Door

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