[ Fated to fight because of the faces they were given. It should be a stupid and dramatic statement, but Gray feels that it's a fact. Her encounter with the Corpse King felt just as inevitable. They're all bound by strings, moving at will but never free of their center. King Arthur's legend was a parade of conflicts, and all that has followed has been more of the same.
Even so. For everything her body represents, Gray is in essence an outsider to King Arthur's world, an impostor with no avenue of escape. ]
You're the only other person here who understands why this face is worth hating. It gets a bit lonely, being the only person to think so.
[ Most people would find it a blessing to be given a "cute" face, and Gray understands that. There are far worse problems in the world. Which is why she couldn't possibly try to convince anyone that her feelings on the matter are sane or valid, and she doesn't try. She's an only child, but she imagines that the automatic understanding she and Mordred have (at least in this one topic) is like something siblings would share. ]
You're wrong, [ she says, like she's going to argue. Instead: ] It's not just worth hating. It's worth despising, loathing, and resenting.
[ The truth is, she's never hated it. She hates what it represents — not just the king, but another person cursed to live in his shadow. Gray might hide her face by choice, rather than fear of execution like Mordred once did, but when they look in the mirror, it's always someone else looking back.
Who wouldn't despise seeing that face? Who wouldn't loathe having that face? Who wouldn't resent that face for ever existing? ]
Whether we're enemies or allies, that won't change. I won't ever stop being mad about your face. [ This is meant to be reassuring, maybe. ]
[ It is meant to be reassuring and only in this specific case does it succeed, prompting a small, grateful smile from Gray. ]
Please do.
[ Said with careful sincerity, like the renewal of a vow. It's reassuring to know that even if Mordred's been gone a while, she's more or less the same.
For the rest of today, at least. I doubt I'll be welcome once night falls.
[ And while a lack of an invitation keeping her at bay is laughable, it's a (not so) subtle cover for her current lack of strength. She's already designated herself as a future enemy, so Gray would be well within her rights to kill her before she becomes a real threat — but Mordred knows she won't. (As for whether Mordred could say the same if their situations were reversed... it's best not to ask.) ]
... I have no intention of being a Zenith spy, if that's what you're wondering. I only came here to satisfy my own curiosity.
[ Though she won't be surprised if Mordred later uses whatever she learns here to her advantage. Coming here for the express purpose of being a spy doesn't seem like Mordred's style. Especially when she doesn't have her powers back yet. ]
I was just wondering if you wanted some company while you're here.
[ Because, she doesn't say out loud, it can get dangerous on the island...... but Mordred probably wouldn't like the insinuation that she'd need protection. ]
[ Even when she was around others, she was still alone. It's something she long since accepted as necessary: that since her father always was, she always would be, too. That a requirement of kingship was to stand so far ahead of everyone else that you couldn't even see them as people anymore, much less as comrades, friends, equals.
But despite her acceptance of that solitary future, and the fact the next time they meet, it'll be as enemies, Mordred finds herself unable to say no to Gray's offer. Her face cycles through a series of expressions, most of them constipated looking, before she finally turns her back so she can scoff without her own emotions betraying her. ]
... Fine. But keep your hood up, and follow all of my instructions. I'll let you act as my squire for today.
[ As ever, it's fascinating to see how Mordred's face contorts their shared visage into configurations Gray never could have foreseen. The part of her that flinches at her own face is too bewildered to look away from Mordred's. But eventually, Mordred does the job for her by turning away.
A squire, is it... how quaint. But Gray doesn't hate the idea, and she dutifully tugs her hood a bit lower down. Actually, acting as a faceless follower is Gray's most comfy zone. ]
Y'know... normal squire stuff. [ She was one of the few knights who never had one, given her acerbic attitude and need for complete privacy, but she doesn't want Gray to know that. ] Usually, that means you'd be in charge of my armour and weapons... but I don't really need any help with those. Or you could look after my horse...
[ ... if she had one here. Exasperated: ]
Look, it's just a title, alright? One that gives you a good reason for hangin' around me.
[ Sounds a bit sus, but Gray is accepting enough of her own ignorance to take Mordred at face value and not make the outlandish assumption that a Knight of the Round Table never actually had a single squire. ]
Alright.
[ Though she thinks no one will buy that Mordred is a knight without her armor. ]
[ She dips her head a little even though she's sure she heard correctly. Maybe this is too awkward a subject (for some reason), so Gray decides to move on to something she wished she'd asked Mordred after she disappeared. ]
You mean "Sir knows-everything-except-when-to-shut-the-hell-up"? The guy whose compliments sound like insults, and whose insults sound like compliments? Why the hell would you be interested in him?
[ As colorful as that description is, it does sound accurate. Mordred's incredulity puts Gray in a fluster, and she scrambles for an answer that isn't a lie but doesn't give away too much either. ]
Ah, well, he was like a guardian figure of sorts in the village cemetery, so I was always curious to know more about him...
[ How he was in life rather than how he is as a pseudo-personality or jumbled up spirit. ]
Jeez. Between that and my old lady, it's like your village is tryin' to piss me off.
[ Though, Mordred would probably be annoyed about the involvement of any of the Knights of the Round, so that's really not saying much. She raises an eyebrow at what seems like an overly reactive response from Gray, but chalks it up to her own attitude, and not anything suspicious. ]
He was father's first knight, but he wasn't even with his king at the end. I doubt he could have stopped me, anyway, but does that sound like a guardian to you? [ That's not what Gray's asking; she just has some residual bitterness to get out. No, being literally fucking dead isn't an excuse. ] Kay was a complete ass. His skill with a sword was a joke, but he was so freakin' annoying that his enemies would rather kill themselves than listen to him. I suppose he was at least competent enough as a seneschal, even if the role made him arrogant beyond belief... or perhaps that's just the way he was from the start. I don't really know, nor do I care.
[ A part of her wants to protest that Kay was with his king long after the end, in service to this day even if the conditions have become abstract. Even though Gray didn't know the man when he was alive, she still feels that she owes a lot to him.
... With that said, Mordred's description sounds awfully familiar. An annoying, arrogant ass? All of those things survived the distillation process that created Add. Despite herself, a fond, relieved smile floats to Gray's face. It's good to know that even if Add is a pesudo-personality, he retains a truth of the self he derived from. It never mattered to her whether or not Add had "meaning," but she's happy to get to know more about the man who's something like his father. ]
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no subject
Date: 2023-03-23 05:44 am (UTC)Even so. For everything her body represents, Gray is in essence an outsider to King Arthur's world, an impostor with no avenue of escape. ]
You're the only other person here who understands why this face is worth hating. It gets a bit lonely, being the only person to think so.
[ Most people would find it a blessing to be given a "cute" face, and Gray understands that. There are far worse problems in the world. Which is why she couldn't possibly try to convince anyone that her feelings on the matter are sane or valid, and she doesn't try. She's an only child, but she imagines that the automatic understanding she and Mordred have (at least in this one topic) is like something siblings would share. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-23 07:25 am (UTC)[ The truth is, she's never hated it. She hates what it represents — not just the king, but another person cursed to live in his shadow. Gray might hide her face by choice, rather than fear of execution like Mordred once did, but when they look in the mirror, it's always someone else looking back.
Who wouldn't despise seeing that face? Who wouldn't loathe having that face? Who wouldn't resent that face for ever existing? ]
Whether we're enemies or allies, that won't change. I won't ever stop being mad about your face. [ This is meant to be reassuring, maybe. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-24 03:59 am (UTC)Please do.
[ Said with careful sincerity, like the renewal of a vow. It's reassuring to know that even if Mordred's been gone a while, she's more or less the same.
Anywho........ ]
Will you be staying on the island for very long?
no subject
Date: 2023-03-25 07:02 am (UTC)[ And while a lack of an invitation keeping her at bay is laughable, it's a (not so) subtle cover for her current lack of strength. She's already designated herself as a future enemy, so Gray would be well within her rights to kill her before she becomes a real threat — but Mordred knows she won't. (As for whether Mordred could say the same if their situations were reversed... it's best not to ask.) ]
... I have no intention of being a Zenith spy, if that's what you're wondering. I only came here to satisfy my own curiosity.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-26 03:53 am (UTC)[ Though she won't be surprised if Mordred later uses whatever she learns here to her advantage. Coming here for the express purpose of being a spy doesn't seem like Mordred's style. Especially when she doesn't have her powers back yet. ]
I was just wondering if you wanted some company while you're here.
[ Because, she doesn't say out loud, it can get dangerous on the island...... but Mordred probably wouldn't like the insinuation that she'd need protection. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-29 03:46 pm (UTC)[ Even when she was around others, she was still alone. It's something she long since accepted as necessary: that since her father always was, she always would be, too. That a requirement of kingship was to stand so far ahead of everyone else that you couldn't even see them as people anymore, much less as comrades, friends, equals.
But despite her acceptance of that solitary future, and the fact the next time they meet, it'll be as enemies, Mordred finds herself unable to say no to Gray's offer. Her face cycles through a series of expressions, most of them constipated looking, before she finally turns her back so she can scoff without her own emotions betraying her. ]
... Fine. But keep your hood up, and follow all of my instructions. I'll let you act as my squire for today.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-30 07:04 am (UTC)A squire, is it... how quaint. But Gray doesn't hate the idea, and she dutifully tugs her hood a bit lower down. Actually, acting as a faceless follower is Gray's most comfy zone. ]
What would squires usually do for you?
no subject
Date: 2023-03-30 11:04 am (UTC)[ ... if she had one here. Exasperated: ]
Look, it's just a title, alright? One that gives you a good reason for hangin' around me.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-01 05:01 am (UTC)Alright.
[ Though she thinks no one will buy that Mordred is a knight without her armor. ]
Are you still going by "Saber"?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-01 10:17 am (UTC)Gonna tell all your Meridian friends who I really am?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-01 01:46 pm (UTC)[ She's trying to get IC over here... ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-02 10:27 am (UTC).............................. ]
W-well... if you're my squire, it'd have to be "Sir Mordred", right? I'm pretty sure that's how it works.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-04 03:59 am (UTC)[ Even Gray is starting to have suspicions at this point............. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-04 01:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-05 04:00 am (UTC)[ She dips her head a little even though she's sure she heard correctly. Maybe this is too awkward a subject (for some reason), so Gray decides to move on to something she wished she'd asked Mordred after she disappeared. ]
Can I ask you something?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-05 09:19 am (UTC)Go ahead. No promises you'll like the answer, though.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-07 04:09 am (UTC)Did you know Sir Kay very well?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-11 06:28 am (UTC)[ Her tone immediately grows irritated. ]
You mean "Sir knows-everything-except-when-to-shut-the-hell-up"? The guy whose compliments sound like insults, and whose insults sound like compliments? Why the hell would you be interested in him?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-12 04:07 am (UTC)Ah, well, he was like a guardian figure of sorts in the village cemetery, so I was always curious to know more about him...
[ How he was in life rather than how he is as a pseudo-personality or jumbled up spirit. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-04-12 09:23 am (UTC)[ Though, Mordred would probably be annoyed about the involvement of any of the Knights of the Round, so that's really not saying much. She raises an eyebrow at what seems like an overly reactive response from Gray, but chalks it up to her own attitude, and not anything suspicious. ]
He was father's first knight, but he wasn't even with his king at the end. I doubt he could have stopped me, anyway, but does that sound like a guardian to you? [ That's not what Gray's asking; she just has some residual bitterness to get out. No, being literally fucking dead isn't an excuse. ] Kay was a complete ass. His skill with a sword was a joke, but he was so freakin' annoying that his enemies would rather kill themselves than listen to him. I suppose he was at least competent enough as a seneschal, even if the role made him arrogant beyond belief... or perhaps that's just the way he was from the start. I don't really know, nor do I care.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-14 03:36 am (UTC)... With that said, Mordred's description sounds awfully familiar. An annoying, arrogant ass? All of those things survived the distillation process that created Add. Despite herself, a fond, relieved smile floats to Gray's face. It's good to know that even if Add is a pesudo-personality, he retains a truth of the self he derived from. It never mattered to her whether or not Add had "meaning," but she's happy to get to know more about the man who's something like his father. ]
Thank you. That's all I wanted to know.