[ There's one good thing about all this, and it's that he attributes her apprehension to the changes in her person rather than his own current status (which he still hasn't been made aware of). Her sober disposition has him frowning in return, though he does at least do his due diligence in eyeballing her hair so that he can provide an honest answer to the question posed. ]
It looks like a fashion statement. [ Like a tiny blonde cry for attention, though he's certain she would never wish for it as such. ] But it looks fine otherwise.
[ Not all too noticeable, honestly, and something easily accustomed to. More importantly: ]
Do you know what prompted the change?
[ Blonde hair usually turns gray and not the other way around... ]
[ A fasion statement... To someone with very little sense of fashion, that's a little troubling. But if he doesn't think it looks completely weird, then she'll find a bit of comfort in his assessment. ]
Yes, I think I know. The person my body was changed to match... her spirit was summoned in my world, and it made my body change to match hers even more. She was actually blonde, so my hair ended up changing a little too...
[ Before he can ask any more (valid) questions, she shakes her head. ]
More importantly, um. It probably doesn't feel this way to you, but from my perspective, it's been almost two months since I've seen you. So... it's good to see you again.
[ Common words with uncommon weight to them. As normal as she's trying to seem, her eyes shine with feeling as she etches his mannerisms into her memory. ]
[ She really should have asked someone else for a more accurate and useful opinion but alas, he is the only ghost on the premises. A spectre still unaware of his own status, though her words set off the tiniest alarm bells in the back of his mind, his mild frown deepening into something more grim. ]
Two months?
[ There's no gap that long that he can find in his memory as he frantically digs through what experiences he can remember from the last week, but why would there be if he's the one who's been missing? Not for the first time he silently curses all the outside forces that have left him unable to trust his own memory, but not for the first time he sets that problem aside. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and he's sure it won't be the last. All he can do is keep moving forward and focus on the present.
Though he's forced to take a tiny trip into the (recent) past when he remembers something far more important, his shoulders straightening and brows furrowing reflexively. ]
Did your birthday already pass then?
[ If it's already been two months....
if you think you can escape without me shoehorning in a happy birthday you are sorely mistaken ]
[ She watches his reaction with a bittersweet feeling. She'd wished back then that he could appear out of thin air, but now that he's in front of her, there's a heavy cap on how happy she's allowed to feel. ]
... Yes. Mr. Dokja gave me your gift.
[ She pushes the drape of her cloak aside to reveal the handle of a knife protruding behind the small of her back, one that may be familiar to him. With Add still absent, she's felt a little lonely and a lot unarmed given how much power and personality Add packed in such a tiny space. Eustace's knife doesn't come anywhere near Add's unique versatility, but it still manages to be a candle's warmth at her back and a fighting chance. ]
He prepared a cake for me too. He's been very sweet... even though I think he feels a bit awkward. He might be even more awkward than I am.
[ —Ah. It shouldn't be surprising with how much time he's apparently missed, but he can't fully suppress the surge of disappointment that lances through his heart, both over missing such an important day and his own failure at being present for the people most important to him. Gray seems to be holding up fine though, even if he can't fully make out her face behind the shadow of her hood.
But before he can apologize, he's pulled out of his self-wallowing by her comment, his gaze flying up from the ground in surprise. Surprise and a small burst of incredulous humor, that escapes past his lips in a quiet laugh. ]
You're not that awkward. [ A little hesitant sometimes and certainly careful in her choice of speech, but far from awkward. ] Though I can see how he could be.
[ Even if he personally finds Dokja more annoying (fond) than awkward.
And then the moment of good cheer fades along with his smile and another exhale blows past his lips, though this time a sigh instead of a laugh. ]
But I'm sorry. For not being there.
[ Not as though he had a choice in the matter, because he never would have left if given the option, but he feels miserable about it nonetheless, head once again bowing down heavy in apology. ]
[ The sound of his laughter, brief though it is, gets a smile out of her — even if it's wobbly, and pinched around the eyes. The longer she speaks with him, is reminded of his familiar mannerisms, the more she misses him. She suffocates the spark of hope in her heart that he might solidify, and that this is simply some strange magic at work that will run its course and return him to normal at the end of it. That hope unanswered would be too cruel.
As she focuses on containing her emotions to her chest, she's surprised to see him bowing his head in sincere apology. And the feelings in her chest boil over, hot tears dropping from her eyes like lead. She shakes her head furiously.
Stuck in her throat are the words, No, it isn't your fault.
In her heart are the words, I would have given anything for you to be there.
She takes a deep breath to shore up her constricted throat and looks up at Eustace through a blur of vision. She already knows her voice will be a shaky mess, but she has no choice but to power through. ]
Mr. Eustace, you've already done everything for me. I never thought, not even once, that you ever had anything to apologize to me about.
[ And in return, has she done enough? Has she only ever been an obligation, someone small to look after, to add to a list of concerns? He never needed her the way her mentor in London did. It boggles her to this day that Eustace decided to concern himself so much with her. ]
I wanted to thank you. For this gift. And for being my friend... since the very beginning.
[ It's no secret that Gray has always had a kind heart. It's one of the (many) qualities he appreciates about her, her willingness to give others a chance even when they might deserve one. Even so, he's taken aback when she starts crying, completely at a loss as to the cause behind those tears. It's not as though he hasn't made women cry before, but he usually makes an effort to be more considerate around Gray. Surely a two month absence wouldn't be enough reason either....would it?
One hand reaches out—and then pulls back, dropping down once again to his side. He's never been good with displays of affection, and even moreso when he's not sure how to address the root of the matter. Instead he crouches down, to look up at her instead of down. (Closer to hell where he belongs for bringing her to tears, and for the way he feels, guilty and upset over Gray's upset.) ]
I should apologize for making you cry.
[ Apologies aren't in his normal repetoire but he'll shake off the dust, just for Gray. ]
I'll always be your friend. You don't have to thank me for it. I should be the one thanking you for sticking with me. [ There's the smallest of smiles that plays on his face, bittersweet. ] I know I'm not the easiest person to be around.
[ That he would say that about himself is genuinely puzzling to her, and she looks at him a bit helplessly. ]
You've always been easy to be around. You're thoughtful, don't complain, and take care of yourself well.
[ Her standards...........
There's a lot more she'd like to say, but she doesn't want to make this too much like a goodbye. She hesitates and then carefully draws the black knife he gifted her, the ringing of the blade as it's freed gentle like a bell. It's still pristine and well-polished; she made sure to clean it thoroughly after cutting her birthday cake with it. ]
By the way, this knife seemed so special that I wondered if it has a name.
[ Magic and enchanted blades always seem to. The mages of the Clock Tower would probably say that the symbolism of a name solidifies its status in the world, or something like that. ]
[ Her standards are truly so low.....but it's not like he can really blame her, especially when it keeps him in her good graces. That dagger though....
He stays where he is, crouched low on the ground, expression settled back into a neutral as he looks at the outheld blade. Nice to know she kept it, even out of obligation. Maybe a different style would have suited her better, though it's not exactly like he'd had a choice in that matter. ]
It didn't have a name when I got it. [ Received it as a reward more like, though that's unimportant. ] You can name it, if you want.
[ After Rhongomyniad and Flamek and Unbroken Faith, why not give this dagger a name too to round out all the weapons in the household (or were in the household)? ]
[ Sweet of him to think a simple black knife doesn't suit her when Add looks the way he does. ]
Naming a weapon myself feels a bit embarrassing.
[ Also, hard. It would be easy to pick something deadly or mysterious, but that isn't how she actually views the knife, whose presence has provided a measure of comfort in Add and Eustace's absences. After a moment's thought, she thinks that something straightforward would be best. ]
[ The word itself doesn't ring any bells, but there's something about the way it rolls off the tongue that makes it sound somewhat familiar. Maybe he should have looked more into the different languages spread across the skydoms instead of the bare minimum needed for his various missions.
But if Gray's picked it then surely she must have chosen it for a reason beyond how it sounds. He tilts his head, curious. ]
[ She's already cried in front of him multiple times, what is there to lose. But the powers that be (me) have decided to go easy on her this time, and Eustace simply nods in acceptance of the answer given. It's a pretty considerate name, all things considered. ]
Sounds fitting. I hope it's able to watch over for a long time.
[ In case more things happen and certain people end up disappearing again. Hey, speaking of disappearing—his form grows a little more translucent with every passing second, Springstar's eternal sunlight shining a little brighter. ]
For your birthday next year....we'll do whatever you want.
[ Her smile wobbles at the edges as he begins to lose opacity, knowing it must mean their time is up. She keeps it up until he's disappeared completely, only then blinking away a couple final tears. But when she turns to leave, rubbing at her face, at least her smile isn't completely gone. ]
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i like how i bullied you into this thread and then immediately wandered off
Date: 2023-07-05 09:42 pm (UTC)It looks like a fashion statement. [ Like a tiny blonde cry for attention, though he's certain she would never wish for it as such. ] But it looks fine otherwise.
[ Not all too noticeable, honestly, and something easily accustomed to. More importantly: ]
Do you know what prompted the change?
[ Blonde hair usually turns gray and not the other way around... ]
as is your right as a free rper
Date: 2023-07-06 02:36 am (UTC)Yes, I think I know. The person my body was changed to match... her spirit was summoned in my world, and it made my body change to match hers even more. She was actually blonde, so my hair ended up changing a little too...
[ Before he can ask any more (valid) questions, she shakes her head. ]
More importantly, um. It probably doesn't feel this way to you, but from my perspective, it's been almost two months since I've seen you. So... it's good to see you again.
[ Common words with uncommon weight to them. As normal as she's trying to seem, her eyes shine with feeling as she etches his mannerisms into her memory. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-07 05:26 pm (UTC)Two months?
[ There's no gap that long that he can find in his memory as he frantically digs through what experiences he can remember from the last week, but why would there be if he's the one who's been missing? Not for the first time he silently curses all the outside forces that have left him unable to trust his own memory, but not for the first time he sets that problem aside. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and he's sure it won't be the last. All he can do is keep moving forward and focus on the present.
Though he's forced to take a tiny trip into the (recent) past when he remembers something far more important, his shoulders straightening and brows furrowing reflexively. ]
Did your birthday already pass then?
[ If it's already been two months....
if you think you can escape without me shoehorning in a happy birthday you are sorely mistaken ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-09 08:20 am (UTC)... Yes. Mr. Dokja gave me your gift.
[ She pushes the drape of her cloak aside to reveal the handle of a knife protruding behind the small of her back, one that may be familiar to him. With Add still absent, she's felt a little lonely and a lot unarmed given how much power and personality Add packed in such a tiny space. Eustace's knife doesn't come anywhere near Add's unique versatility, but it still manages to be a candle's warmth at her back and a fighting chance. ]
He prepared a cake for me too. He's been very sweet... even though I think he feels a bit awkward. He might be even more awkward than I am.
[ A rarity and a talent. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-09 10:00 pm (UTC)But before he can apologize, he's pulled out of his self-wallowing by her comment, his gaze flying up from the ground in surprise. Surprise and a small burst of incredulous humor, that escapes past his lips in a quiet laugh. ]
You're not that awkward. [ A little hesitant sometimes and certainly careful in her choice of speech, but far from awkward. ] Though I can see how he could be.
[ Even if he personally finds Dokja more annoying (fond) than awkward.
And then the moment of good cheer fades along with his smile and another exhale blows past his lips, though this time a sigh instead of a laugh. ]
But I'm sorry. For not being there.
[ Not as though he had a choice in the matter, because he never would have left if given the option, but he feels miserable about it nonetheless, head once again bowing down heavy in apology. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-12 03:39 am (UTC)As she focuses on containing her emotions to her chest, she's surprised to see him bowing his head in sincere apology. And the feelings in her chest boil over, hot tears dropping from her eyes like lead. She shakes her head furiously.
Stuck in her throat are the words, No, it isn't your fault.
In her heart are the words, I would have given anything for you to be there.
She takes a deep breath to shore up her constricted throat and looks up at Eustace through a blur of vision. She already knows her voice will be a shaky mess, but she has no choice but to power through. ]
Mr. Eustace, you've already done everything for me. I never thought, not even once, that you ever had anything to apologize to me about.
[ And in return, has she done enough? Has she only ever been an obligation, someone small to look after, to add to a list of concerns? He never needed her the way her mentor in London did. It boggles her to this day that Eustace decided to concern himself so much with her. ]
I wanted to thank you. For this gift. And for being my friend... since the very beginning.
no subject
Date: 2023-07-15 01:10 am (UTC)One hand reaches out—and then pulls back, dropping down once again to his side. He's never been good with displays of affection, and even moreso when he's not sure how to address the root of the matter. Instead he crouches down, to look up at her instead of down. (Closer to hell where he belongs for bringing her to tears, and for the way he feels, guilty and upset over Gray's upset.) ]
I should apologize for making you cry.
[ Apologies aren't in his normal repetoire but he'll shake off the dust, just for Gray. ]
I'll always be your friend. You don't have to thank me for it. I should be the one thanking you for sticking with me. [ There's the smallest of smiles that plays on his face, bittersweet. ] I know I'm not the easiest person to be around.
[ To put things lightly. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-18 08:40 am (UTC)You've always been easy to be around. You're thoughtful, don't complain, and take care of yourself well.
[ Her standards...........
There's a lot more she'd like to say, but she doesn't want to make this too much like a goodbye. She hesitates and then carefully draws the black knife he gifted her, the ringing of the blade as it's freed gentle like a bell. It's still pristine and well-polished; she made sure to clean it thoroughly after cutting her birthday cake with it. ]
By the way, this knife seemed so special that I wondered if it has a name.
[ Magic and enchanted blades always seem to. The mages of the Clock Tower would probably say that the symbolism of a name solidifies its status in the world, or something like that. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-19 01:32 am (UTC)He stays where he is, crouched low on the ground, expression settled back into a neutral as he looks at the outheld blade. Nice to know she kept it, even out of obligation. Maybe a different style would have suited her better, though it's not exactly like he'd had a choice in that matter. ]
It didn't have a name when I got it. [ Received it as a reward more like, though that's unimportant. ] You can name it, if you want.
[ After Rhongomyniad and Flamek and Unbroken Faith, why not give this dagger a name too to round out all the weapons in the household (or were in the household)? ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-20 05:12 am (UTC)Naming a weapon myself feels a bit embarrassing.
[ Also, hard. It would be easy to pick something deadly or mysterious, but that isn't how she actually views the knife, whose presence has provided a measure of comfort in Add and Eustace's absences. After a moment's thought, she thinks that something straightforward would be best. ]
Gwyliwr. How does that sound?
no subject
Date: 2023-07-21 03:02 pm (UTC)But if Gray's picked it then surely she must have chosen it for a reason beyond how it sounds. He tilts his head, curious. ]
Does it mean something?
[ Names usually do, as far as he's concerned. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-07-22 07:14 am (UTC)[ Explaining the full reasoning would be a bit too embarrassing for her, but. ]
Since I keep it behind me, it's nice to think that it's watching my back.
i'll come back for you next month
Date: 2023-07-23 03:24 pm (UTC)Sounds fitting. I hope it's able to watch over for a long time.
[ In case more things happen and certain people end up disappearing again. Hey, speaking of disappearing—his form grows a little more translucent with every passing second, Springstar's eternal sunlight shining a little brighter. ]
For your birthday next year....we'll do whatever you want.
[ It's a promise and a threat. ]
cya space furboy...
Date: 2023-07-23 07:07 pm (UTC)[ Her smile wobbles at the edges as he begins to lose opacity, knowing it must mean their time is up. She keeps it up until he's disappeared completely, only then blinking away a couple final tears. But when she turns to leave, rubbing at her face, at least her smile isn't completely gone. ]